


My Butler

by flippednique



Category: Kuroshitsuji | Black Butler
Genre: demon!ciel, master!Alois
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-04-16
Updated: 2014-04-22
Packaged: 2018-01-19 13:59:03
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,681
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1472416
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/flippednique/pseuds/flippednique
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Darkness.</p>
<p>Did he have a reason to live anymore? Did he really?</p>
<p>Slowly, oh so slowly, he could feel his very existence simply being drained from him. Was it the man that lied beside him? The same man that seemingly took him in? Made him better and made sure that he was to live another day?</p>
<p>--</p>
<p>When Alois finds a reason to start living again, he isn't stupid enough to believe he doesn't need help keeping that reason safe. </p>
<p>He'll do everything, anything. </p>
<p>Even make a deal with <b>Ciel</b>, the devil himself.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Darkness.**

Did he have a reason to live anymore? Did he really?

Slowly,  _oh so slowly,_  he could feel his very existence simply being drained from him. Was it the man that lied beside him? The same man that seemingly took him in? Made him better and made sure that he was to live another day?

He didn't even know if he should feel violated anymore... His skin no longer felt as if insects crawled on it like it used to the first hundred times it had happened. His blood no longer boiled when he was touched in places he knew were now tainted. The bruises were actually pretty on his pale arms and legs, giving it color and taking away the image of a ghost that he used to present. His heart,  _oh his heart_ , well… it no longer beat. His soul, was  _dead_. Withered into nothing, simply gone.

Or maybe it was hidden somewhere. He was in fact still breathing, still living. But was this living? Was it really?

Maybe it was but it sure didn't  _feel_  like it.

Living had been... It had been  _waking up everyday_  wondering which house he'd have to rob to find his and Luka's breakfast. Living had been  _sneaking around and living up to the names_  everybody had called him. Living had been going to sleep  _only after making absolute sure_  Luka was warm enough for the upcoming winter storms.

Had he truly gone for so long without  _a reason to exist?_

Luka had  **been**  his reason. He had been his pushing motivator for so many things. He tried to imagine what it would have been like had he never had Luka that time. Would he feel as he felt now? Would he be here with no fight in his body? Would he lie down and take all this pervert's disgusting ministrations and not do anything about it?

The Queen's Spider was  **a sick old bastard**  to the very core. He didn't do anything for the Queen's service. All he did was use his position to his advantage. Like flies he trapped innocent children like them in his web just like he liked to trap himself in his web of lies.

**Deluded.**

That's what he was.  _Lying to himself_  was the only defense mechanism he now had left in his arsenal. He had no money to his name, had only a dingy jail roof over his head, and he slept in his own molester's bed. Lying... His tongue and wit was all he had now.

Even if he escaped this place where would he go? What would he do? He didn't know how to write or read. He never went to school, there just wasn't time and to him it wasn't a necessity. Not like taking care of Luka was, or at least had been.

What does he call himself now even, in his head he was  **Jim**  but to his ears he was  **Alois.**  There were two different sides to him and he couldn't be bothered to decide  _who he truly was_. They were incredibly different. Jim was  **strong** , but that was only because he had to be. Not for his sake but for his brother. Alois was  **docile,** not because he truly was but because that's what was expected of the Earl Trancy's young heir.

Two personalities,  _both made up of **lies**._

He was wrapped up in them. Darkness and lies. He couldn't see ten feet ahead of him and he bumped into multiple things at a time. What was holding him back? The chains of his past? He'd shaken off those bloody attachments oh so long ago.

So what was it keeping him here?

There was nothing.

He was simply...  _floating_. Nothing tethered him to where he was anymore, nothing keeping him stuck to the ground. There would be no moving forward or going backward for him. He didn't even have a choice. He was just hanging around... and boy did he feel  ** _stupid._**

And  ** _lost._**

_Stupid and lost and **confused**_ **.**

Until the day a new set of toys was brought to the mansion. Normally he wouldn't care as he had been just like one of them. Stripped naked of his clothing, his identity, and his dignity as a person.

It had been just like everybody else's time in front of the pervert. They eyed him with curiosity, which was a given as he lounged on the man's lap, legs and thighs bare, his robe barely covering his shoulders and chest. The old man's fingers would be buried in his wispy blonde hair and he would look... healthy.

It was something that was quite foreign to the boys being presented before him as they barely managed to get scraps for supper and he knew that he was envied. Oh but if they only knew...

It's why he never pitied them, because even if he did see no reason to live anymore he wouldn't wish his fate on anyone. Even if they stared at him with horror in their eyes. Cavorting with a man? And not just any man but their  _captor_! He was sure he made them sick.

No matter what they thought. They didn't know what he was saving them from. Some may notice over time how no one would be called to  _ahem,_ spend time with their Earl Trancy. Some who have been used to send messages around the mansion had seen him in the old man's room. Beaten, bruised, and almost defeated.

Those people understood. It was rare for a newcomer to understand his actions, but some got it, and those boys… well he protected them.

Especially  _him._

The old man must have noticed his interest, because the fingers in his hair had tightened to the point of being painful. Trancy jerked his head back, he followed so as not to lose any of his blonde locks and the pervert smiled at him, stroking his cheeks with his whip-roughened hands. "Do you like this one Alois? He's a pretty young thing, I so do like your taste."

At first he was disgusted, those fingers how he wanted to bite them off. That breath that washed over him, it was sickening. But he played along as he always did. This time with a motive. If it would save him... "I  _want_ him father. May I have him?"

Ash brown hair and the same shade of grey eyes.

"Of course. You never ask for anything." Trancy kissed his cheek and he fought to stay still. He giggled for the sake of it and for a second there he felt his heart beat harder, stronger.

"Thank you so much father!"

He had found a new reason to  **live.**

Trancy's hand moved from his hair to his thigh. Idly he stroked small circles on the smooth and pale skin. "What will you name him Alois?"

He eyed the young boy in front of him. "Luka. He'll be my Luka."

And he had been happy, if you could believe it.

Luka was never taken into Trancy's bed. He always stayed in Alois' room where he would be safe, where he could remain innocent. This Luka would have been the same age as Jim's Luka had he still been alive. It was almost too perfect, if only he wasn't still haunted by the wide-eyed expression he had seen on the other Luka when he had found him dead.

It was why he decided to be  **Alois** , because Alois' Luka wasn't dead. Alois' Luka was alive. And he would try his damned hardest to keep it that way. He made sure that Luka got everything he hadn't been able to give to the last one. Education, toys, good food whose ingredients were imported and prepared by the greatest chefs in all of England. He had spoiled him and how he had been right when he said that this was his new Luka.

It was almost like a do-over, a second chance given to him. He had been so thankful, unlike any other time he actually felt indebted to Earl Trancy.

Only he could keep Luka safe from prying hands and acidic tongues for so long.

"You forget who feeds, cloths, and takes care of you Alois. Who hires those tutors for your pet. Who keeps a roof over your head!" He spat at him with a smack to his cheek. It stung but he had learned to bear it. The words no longer hurt, he had gotten used to it. "Ungrateful little twat."

Alois took the cursing and the hitting if it would keep Luka safe. His body? What did that matter to him now? He had been  _tainted_ way before this. Purity… he didn't know what that was anymore. No wait, that's a lie. He knew what it was. It was  _Luka_. Ignorant to the wicked ways of the world but for the short time he had lived on the streets. In one way he was still innocent. And Alois… he'd take anything, do anything, and give anything for Luka to remain that way.

He'd already lost him once, he wouldn't lose him again. He'd even make a deal with the devil himself.

_"What is your wish?"_

"Protect Luka at all costs until he grows up."

_"That's rather long term but all right."_  His eye was a vivid blue, bluer than Alois'. He never thought that demon's eye could be so human. " _I live to serve you."_

"Good." Alois let in a breath of relief and he eyed the demon. "What's your name? Do I get to give one to you? I read about… well."

" _I am not your average demon."_ He snapped back rather angrily. Alois took that in check, his new familiar was rather touchy. _"I have a name."_

Alois' eyebrow rose. "What is it then?"

_" **Ciel.** You may call me Ciel."_


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Darkness.
> 
> Did he have a reason to live anymore? Did he really?
> 
> Slowly, oh so slowly, he could feel his very existence simply being drained from him. Was it the man that lied beside him? The same man that seemingly took him in? Made him better and made sure that he was to live another day?
> 
> \--
> 
> When Alois finds a reason to start living again, he isn't stupid enough to believe he doesn't need help keeping that reason safe.
> 
> He'll do everything, anything.
> 
> Even make a deal with Ciel, the devil himself.

**_Darkness_ ** _._

It was a foreign concept to Alois these days. It wasn't something he could associate with… not anymore. Ever since… ever since that day, everything was…  _perfect_. There was laughter, and smiling, and he was incredibly happy.

"Wake up now Alois, I don't have all day."

But infinitely there were some drawbacks.

"Five more minutes." He promised and turned over.

The moment he heard Ciel walking away from his bed and most probably towards the closed windows he wiggled underneath his comforter and buried his head underneath one of his many pillows. He heard the sound of curtains being parted and he could practically  _feel_  the sunshine oozing into the room. Ugh, he hated mornings.

It wasn't rare for him to wake up by himself despite whose bed he had fallen asleep in and truth be told he preferred it. No groping, no morning fix-ups. Just him and the pillows. For that he could ignore the stale smell of what he knew had happened last night but that was okay. What he hated was not being able to wake up before nine in the morning.

He most definitely did not appreciate how his darling  _instructor_ woke him at precisely said time.

"Get up." The pillow he had been gripping so hard had been forcefully wrenched out of his hands and the covers had disappeared as well. Cold. The windows had let in the February air and it was so  _cold_  and  **painful**.

"Ow!" Alois cried as the bed disappeared from underneath him and he met the floor in a rather intimate embrace. For a person who liked friendly hugs and all that the floor was not a welcomed recipient. Alois may like it that it caught him whenever he fell, he just wished that it were carpeted to avoid all the nasty bruises he got.

It was a fact;  _falling for anything hurt_. That's why you have to do your best to stay on your own two feet.

Right now, that's what Alois was trying to do, simultaneously glaring at the bluenette standing in the middle of room not at all guilty that he had shoved his  _master_ onto the floor. Said master was now picking himself up in a huff and slamming his hands on his hips. It hurt… but it was done for a good cause. Alois was making a point.

"That wasn't nice." The blonde informed his companion. "Nobody likes being thrown off of the bed, especially when they've just woken up."

"My apologies." Ciel smiled.

Alois fumed. "You don't sound sorry at all."

"Ah, maybe I'm not." Ciel turned away from him and moved to the dresser. He then routinely placed the clothes on the footlocker and looked pointedly at the blonde. "Best you got dressed, he's been awake since seven and has been waiting for you to wake up."

Alois sighed in defeat, but not before glaring at Ciel a few more minutes, then got dressed. He didn't ask for Ciel to leave or something so childish as to turn around as he changed clothes. He was sure a demon had seen so many things aside from a child's body.

His breath hitched a bit at the thought.

_Demon_.

He had a demon under his service. A demon was strong. Someone who could protect Luka from anything and anyone. It made his heart lighter to know that no matter what happened nothing and no one could touch his little brother.

He had been stupid back then, foolish. He wouldn't lose Luka again, not now he's gotten a second chance and not when he had such a creature in his disposal.  _No matter…_

"Ciel?" He looked fixedly as he buttoned his shirt.

_No matter…_

"Yes Alois?" The bluenette looked at him from where he'd been reading a book. He had that book everywhere with him.

_… that I…_

"How long…" He cursed himself inwardly at how his voice shook with nerves and fear. It wasn't good to show that you were scared. Alois took in a deep breath. "How long will you give me before you take my soul?"

_… have to die in the end._

"Until Luka's grown up." Ciel answered. "Isn't that what you asked of me?"

Alois looked up and worried on his bottom lip for a bit. He regarded Ciel with unsure cerulean blue eyes. "Well, yes that's what I said but… when you say grown up does that mean when he's fifty? Old and grey or what?"

Ciel looked at him for a minute too, his face that usually unreadable mask. After a moment he smiled again, his blue eye lighting up. "When Luka's grown up. Now if you'll excuse me Alois, I believe Luka's been left alone at the breakfast table and I know you hate it when that happens."

"He's alone?" Alois hurriedly got his coat on, the red a rather unappealing color to him. He hated that it clashed with his eyes but it did look good with his hair and skin. He snapped the buttons that that had and shoved his feet into the two inched heeled boots.

Ciel opened the door for him and let him go ahead to the banquet hall that he never liked really. It was too big, too  _empty_  with only four people to feed. One was never around when Luka was with him, he made sure of that and the other seemingly only ate… sweets, tea and souls.

Alois wished he could feed Ciel something aside from dessert but it wasn't like he could approach a butcher or meatsman and casually ask for a quarter kilo of souls. He'd get more than just a few odd looks, honestly.

" _Jim!"_  The sweet voice was different, a little lower but it still brought a splitting grin on his face. The redhead was in the middle of devouring what seemed to be scrambled eggs and barely succeeding as most of the stuff ended up on his face.

"Oh honestly." Alois shook his head and grabbed a napkin to clean Luka's face up. He then smiled at the sheepish grin he received.

"You like to sleep don't you Jim?" Luka asked as Alois sat himself down and pulled a plate for himself. "Ciel and I have been awake since the sun got up!"

"You're nine years old. It only makes sense." Alois stuck his tongue out and ate slowly, not wanting to choke.

Luka did the same and stuck his own tongue out. "That doesn't make sense! You're fourteen, you ain't that old!"

"Aren't, Luka." Ciel corrected where he was sitting across from Alois. He wasn't eating but he did have a cup of tea in front of him. He was still reading that book of his.

"Right, sorry." Luka settled back in his chair and continued with his breakfast and there was a relative silence in the banquet hall.

Alois broke it as he consulted Ciel on their schedule for today. The bluenette was posing as both his and Luka's tutor. After all, Alois couldn't hide the demon from the old ma-  _Arthur_  any better than he could say that he loved him.

Ciel was capable of hiding himself, or at least Alois assumed demons could do that as an acquaintance of sorts of Ciel always managed to enter the Manor to visit him multiple times a day and was never spotted unless he wanted to be. Ciel called him clingy but he had introduced himself as Sebastian.

"Well we have reading for the better part of today and after that maybe resume our riding lessons." Ciel put his book down. "Does that sound good to you?"

"Yeah." Alois nodded and took a sip of his tea.

"It's  _yes_." Ciel noted.

"Whatever." Alois sulked not liking how Luka cackled at him for being corrected. And he also didn't like that Ciel was smirking at him.

_"Jim I wanna go riding now!"_

"Not until you're done eating Luka. And no, I have power over Alois so my decision is final."

But he wouldn't trade it for anything in the world.

* * *

"Wasn't that fun?" Luka laughed. His eyes were wide, his cheeks flushed, his hair windswept, and his small hands clenched the reigns tightly, his knuckles white.

Alois was on the ground in a similar state. He smiled at Luka's exuberance and help his little brother off of the horse. He did so slowly and gently so as to not aggravate what he was sure were already stiff legs. "Wanna go again tomorrow?"

"Heck yes!" Luka cheered. He stood still for a second letting his blood flow back into his legs before he ran around to Ciel who was standing by Alois' horse. He patted the brown mare and smiled. "Mia is an amazing horse, ain't she?"

"Isn't, Luka. And yes, she is quite marvelous." Ciel ran a hand through the black mane and took in a deep breath. The redhead smiled at him before marching back to his own horse and began complimenting Vicky for being an extraordinary horse herself.

Alois watched this go on, his arms crossed over his chest, his weight leaning on the stable wall. Ciel moved to stand beside him and they just stood there and watched.

"You're responsible for this you know." Alois murmured not wanting Luka to overhear. "He's happy. He's safe. And it's all because of you."

"I didn't save him from the black market." Ciel said. "If anything's responsible for this, it's you Alois."

"I don't believe that." Alois whispered. "I'm me. I couldn't save myself without sacrificing my very person. You on the other hand… you're strong. You can take care of him."

"I am a demon." Ciel returned. "I don't have what you have."

Alois chuckled bitterly. "A selfish desire to never be alone?"

"No." Ciel said. "A heart. It's not selfish to not want to be alone Alois. You saved him from Arthur. You gave him a second chance. You're every bit as strong as you want to be."

"You make me laugh Ciel." Alois muttered. "I'm not strong."

"Why are you fishing for compliments?" Ciel asked, crossing his own arms.

"I'm not fishing for compliments!" Alois snapped. "I'm just saying it how it is and I don't need you to lie to me for comfort. I am not having a pity party. I'm simply being realistic."

"What brought this on?" Ciel asked turning to face him. He gripped Alois' wrist so that the other boy couldn't leave.

Alois in turn moved away since he couldn't pretty well leave with his wrist being held hostage. He did not want to fight in front of Luka, especially about the contract concerning him. History or no history, any person would be affected by this.

"Look." Ciel said when he wasn't acknowledged. "I wouldn't be here keeping Luka safe and away from that bastard if it wasn't for you and your ability to give up something as important as your  _soul_ in exchange for his protection. The way I see it if it weren't for your  _selflessness,_ a quality any person or creature would envy you, I wouldn't even bat an eyelash for Luka's sake. So stop being so bloody negative and just be happy."

Alois winced when the grip on his wrist tightened to the point of bruising and he scowled. "Fine."

"Good."

Ciel moved away from him then, and Alois worried on his lip. He didn't want to believe it. He wasn't  _selfless_. Ciel didn't know what he was saying.

"Ahem, sir?" Alois turned away from Ciel and Luka to find Hannah. Her head was bowed and she didn't meet his eyes.

Alois tried to relax his body because he was sure he knew where this was going. "Yes?"

"Lord Arthur is requesting your presence. He… he's had a disruption in today's meeting and says he'd like the… the pleasure of your company."

Alois felt his blood go cold and he swallowed the heavy lump in his throat. He turned to look at Alois and Ciel, and he knew the latter had heard the conversation. He tilted his head in a silent order-  _keep Luka out of our way_ \- and turned back to Hannah. "Very well. Thank you Hannah."

"He's in the suite sir." Hannah said. "I… I am supposed to escort you to him personally."

"Fine." Alois snapped. He walked to Luka and said his goodbye's and promised that he'd see them for dinner after he'd finished his business then he followed the silver-haired maid.

It was silent as they walked, which Alois used to his advantage. He clenched and unclenched his fists, tried to calm his heart. Ciel may have made him feel assured when it concerned Luka's safety. But this was not something he had instilled in the contract.

Ciel had told him that he could easily get rid of the old man but Alois had refused. If they killed Arthur, then where would they get the money to live? Where would they go? He may have been presently known as the man's long-lost son, he didn't want to chance anything screwing up what he had.

And… he owed finding Luka to Arthur. If it hadn't been for him he would still be floating. He would still be unchained. Arthur may have tainted him but he  _owed_ him that much. Luka… Luka was Alois' life. He truly owed Arthur so much.

"I'm so sorry." Hannah had cried after she had helped him into another of his scarlet robes. After the first time Arthur had had many made for him. He stared at the full length mirror in front of him and didn't mind the sobbing maid.

He  _hated_ her pity. She cried for him, yes but she couldn't do anything. Just like everybody else who had seen him taken and used. They could say they were sorry but sorry would never do anything.

The image in the mirror gave him much to think about. He knew who he was now. He was  _Alois_. He had a little brother Luka and he was doing this for his sake. He loved Luka after all.

Taking in a few calming breaths, Alois smiled. Slowly. Sensually. He watched the way his eyes lit up with glamoured delight and he let out a small carefully practiced giggle. It made the hair on his neck rise and it made a sick ball of disgust curl in his stomach.

He turned away then because that was as much as he could take before moving into the adjoining bedroom, draping himself over the door and peeking into the room.

Arthur waited for him, eyes gleaming with anticipation.

"I heard that you've been having a bad day." He cooed with faux affection. He waited for Arthur to acknowledge him, smiling softly and extending a hand before he tore himself off the door and into the older man's arms. "Can I make it better?"

Alois made sure to keep his eyes fixated on Arthur's face. He hated this room. There were mirrors everywhere.

It was a while before Arthur had let him go, not completely as the man still had an arm around his waist. He stayed there, hoping that he would make it dinner like he had promised Luka and Ciel. He had tried to keep his eyes closed for as long as he could but seeing his reflection had been inevitable.

In this bed, in this man's arms, he did not know who he was… and he did not like what he saw.

"I love you Alois."

He did not like it at all.

* * *

Ciel left Luka to catch up on his reading. The boy had the knack for learning, he could see he had much potential. Ciel wondered if the last Luka had been the same. Willing to study, ready to learn.

It was such a waste to lose someone so young... and to a demon no less.

"Where is he?" Was the first thing he'd asked at seeing the demoness. He did not like Hannah.

Hannah turned her nose at him, but didn't move from where she lounged as the triplets massaged her not-actually aching body. "Where else?"

"You left him again?" Ciel snapped. "I thought you were supposed to protect him?"

"He's not dead, is he?" Hannah quipped. "As far as I'm concerned that's good enough."

"You would say that." Ciel shook his head in disgust before he turned away from the other demons and went out of the room.

As his master, Ciel could feel Alois' very being and soul calling for him. It wasn't necessarily a good call as it usually screamed in fright whenever he was nearby, but it was good enough since it would scream whenever frightened about anything.

It helped Ciel find Alois if ever he were in trouble. The soul never actually screamed per-say but it was the best way to explain how it glowed and seemed to react to him.

He entered the room, undetected and stared at the sleeping figures. His soul was actually being very quiet right now.

Ciel couldn't help but stare in disgust at the man that held his master as they slept. It would be so easy, too easy actually to just reach a hand out and snap that thin neck. He wouldn't even have to call Sebastian, he could do it himself.

But Alois had issued no order of the sort and he had to abide by his master's will. Even if he usually denied Alois frivolous requests he would not act out without being told. This was not his life after all.

Still, he could offer Alois a little bit of comfort, even in the arms of a creature worse than a demon. Dreams were nice, he thought as he pulsed pictures of Luka into Alois' head.

He took comfort in how the blonde smiled in his sleep.

Very gingerly, Ciel grabbed the old man's wrist and tossed it away from Alois' body. He left the man a present as well and he grinned to himself.

Ciel made sure that Alois would not wake from his dreams and he had also made sure that the  _noble Earl_ would not wake from his nightmares.

He stayed only long enough for the screaming to begin.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you liked it :DD

**Author's Note:**

> I don't know if you guys will believe me but this was originally supposed to be a Sebalois fic. What would happen if Alois had Sebastian for a butler instead of Claude cause to be honest with you I hate Claude for playing Alois like a pawn.
> 
> When I wrote this on my phone however I got to the bit where Alois asked for the demon's name and my fingers typed in Ciel's. I took it as a sign that Ciel was better fit for this story than Sebastian.


End file.
